Saturday, February 21, 2009

Boy do I ever want to quit this job

Things just got to me yesterday. Poor Rich was home sick but I had to get the hell out of the house. I got dressed but didn't even brush my teeth. I felt like I was running away from home - MY home. First thing I got up and Irene said maybe "we" should give the Dr. a call (meaning ME) and see if he called the other doc she needs to go to. Then another script to call in. Of course I made the calls and then a call came in while I was in the bathroom and Rich gave the phone to Irene and she hollered "Gerri" - I think that was it for me for the day. I stayed in the bathroom and had a good cry. Rich came in and hugged me and asked what was wrong but he pretty much knows.

Rich said a woman at the pharmacy had the same situation and she just took some time off work and went and stayed with her brother. I wanted to say "see and I stuck around for four months" - but I didn't LOL. I read some stuff from AARP concerning caregivers and I even posted something in the forum. A good read from Gail Sheehy and this one resonated with me yesterday:

All the things that are listed about having stress - I got 'em. I need to take care of myself better. I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel - feeling hopeless and not hopeful.

I got undressed and waited for the calls to come in and then I laid down for a nap. My counselor said our dreams are sometimes things that are stuck in our heads and boy oh boy did I have a doozy. I dreamt that Rich and I finally (another story) had sex and his mom walked in and just stood there and said "What are you doing"? I know one of my friends is reading this and laughing their ass off - you know who you are.

Like Ellen I'm also learning what Twitter is all about. I found a whole lot of travel Twitter-ers? - is that a word? - and some that were suggested to follow. I love how the web has layers and layers of information and you can get lost in it. I guess it was a good diversion yesterday.

Also Oprah had a new show and not a rerun today. Panel show talking about issues of the day in the news, etc. I just about melted when they showed a puppy mill with 90 Yorkshire Terrier dogs that were rescued in Missouri. Here's a link to look and/or donate. Don't buy from pet stores that you don't know where the dogs/puppies are coming from.

If I didn't have so much on my plate right now one of those cutie pies would be coming to my house!

Speaking of dogs - Nana got a hold of the UPS person yesterday! I was in the bathroom and Rich answered the door and Kayonna ran out and grabbed the worker by the pants leg. No damage was done, but it was just one more thing. If you don't know already that's Kayonna after the title LOL - she's in her "gremlin" mode.

Today is another day. I did get up around 4 am so not sure what today brings. I'm crossing my fingers for the best. I am listening to some music - hope that helps.


Dayna Collins said...

Gerri, I so appreciate the honesty in your writing - it is real and authentic. I hope it helps release some of your stress and tension by just vomiting all over the "page."

Jill Dorsing said...

Sounds like your challange is keeping up with the shit hitting the fan! Irene won't be under foot forever, promise...great dream, except for the part when she walks in the room!